My brother has cancer, and I’m learning how to live along side it, but supporting a sibling with cancer is hard. This is my experience of fear, strength, and learning how to carry on alongside him.

It has been a while since my last post. In fact, almost 12 months. It has been an eventful 12 months, and one I don’t really want to face again.

I have two brothers, and both have been hit with illness. My first brother has been diagnosed with a very rare form of skin cancer, one that grows inside the body. As a result, I’ve been supporting him through treatment, travelling two hours to him and two hours back home whenever he has a doctor’s appointment.

It’s incredible to watch somebody so close to you go through something so horrific and frightening. His cancer has been around his face, and at one point we thought he was going to lose his nose. Thankfully, that hasn’t been the case, but he now has a hole in the roof of his mouth. He has also had the majority of his lymph nodes removed from one side of his neck.

If I’m honest…

If I’m honest, I have never met anybody so brave, so patient, and so mindful of other people’s feelings during his own illness. In many respects, he puts me to shame.

In May last year, he was given a death date of 16 July 2025. He was signed off by the doctors at the hospital and passed on to Macmillan for end-of-life care. I have no idea how or what my brother has done, but he is still with us, fighting like anything to keep his health and stay with us. He takes everything in his stride, still has a sense of humour, and remains concerned about those around him.

When he was given his death date, I burst into tears. The sounds that came out of me were almost unrecognisable. I remember thinking, “Who is making that noise?” before realising it was me.

There is often a lot of support for those with cancer, and for their partners and children. It is often the brothers and sisters who are left behind. But we have been there all our lives. We know them in a way no one else does. I have known my brother his entire life. He has never had a life without me.

I’m not saying this for sympathy, just to say that we are close, which is why I am supporting a sibling with cancer

I remember speaking to Macmillan when they were arranging a bed for him. The man I spoke to asked me how I was. It was such a shock to be asked that I broke down immediately. I told him I couldn’t talk because it was all too raw.

My brother is now fighting a new tumour. We are all by his side, fighting with him. He keeps telling us that life is for the living, that we must carry on and stop worrying about him, although we never will. We are not to make a fuss. He just needs to know we are there when he needs us.

I am now trying to re-enter life, knowing that he is still fighting, and that I will continue to fight with him.

He is still smoking, still eating chocolate and cake. He takes great pride in FaceTiming me while doing both. When I tell him cigarettes will kill him, he simply lights another one and says they will have to wait their turn.

I think, in truth, life is what we make it. I know that sounds like a cliché, but it feels very real right now. If we all sat and wallowed in his illness, we wouldn’t be able to function.

Life moves on. It changes, whether we are ready or not. We have to adapt. It is hard. It is painful. But as humans, we do continue. My life is richer for knowing my brother. I am constantly in awe of his courage and his determination to stay alive.

In conclusion to why I am Supporting a sibling with cancer.

Which is why I am stepping back into my own life. How can I sit in self-pity about what I might lose, when he has so much more to lose? am fit. I am healthy. I have a life to live, just as he is fighting for his. And it would feel deeply disrespectful to his courage to do anything less.